Where are you?
In a non slutty way
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
