she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
