I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
