Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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