So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
