she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
