I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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