I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
