i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
