And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
