How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
