how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize