There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
