I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We named our party play list daddy issues
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
