no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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