U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
