He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
