This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
