The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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