i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
