there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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