that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
