Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
