At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
did i just pee glitter
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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