the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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