I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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