I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
