You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
