im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
