so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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