Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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