She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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