you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
