I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize