I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I deserve this hangover.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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