Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
