jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
