my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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