a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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