wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
