im drinking this country out of the recession.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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