I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
