Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
