love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
