Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
