Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
