Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
