check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
