I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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