guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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