Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
