i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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