This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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