The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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