smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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