We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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