I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
