Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
