I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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