Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
