Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Randomize